For those who might have missed it and cannot hear everything in the video record, as well as for those who might wish to know what we did and said in order to aid in the creation of their own ceremonies, we decided to post a transcript of our ceremony. We drew parts from various traditions, including Orthodox Christian, Jewish, Hindu and Native American. We tried to keep it secular, though some Christian notes were struck, in part because JJ's faith demanded it, and I honored and respect his faith and wishes.

 

 

PART I: "LET US BEGIN"

 

[The space is divided in a t-shaped aisle structure. A center aisle passes through the audience, while the cross of the T passes immediately in front of the officiate. JJ stands at one end of the T in the corner before the audience, and Jonny stands at the other end. Two married couples enter with the Chuppah on their shoulders and erect it centered over the cross in the T.]

 

OFFICIATE: Let us begin.

 

[JJ and jonny come together from the ends of the T, before the officiate and under the canopy of the Chuppah as equals.]

 

OFFICIATE: Friends, we are here today to celebrate and witness the joining together of two lives into one union, one household, one family. So as brothers are forever brothers, as your mother is forever your mother and your father your father, so shall you be forever husbands, family, light and love.

 

JJ and Jonny have chosen elements and symbols from their own experiences and traditions as well as seeking images words and actions from other traditions in order to convey the absolute wonder and gravity of what takes place here today. For whenever two people find a love that is true in this sometimes cold and cruel world, it is nothing less than a miracle. And it is something that we must celebrate. 

 

Now I invite you both to light this candle.

 

[JJ and Jonny light the candle with long matches]

 

This candle is a symbol of the light, energy, illumination of your union. It is at once so beautiful and radiant and at the same time fragile — like life and love. As this flame must one day wane and its energy pass on to some other matter in the universe, so too must we. Perhaps if we remember that no matter how great the love, or how long the life, it will one day end, as all things that begin must, we will find in that knowledge the wisdom to cherish each day together more.

 

Listen now to these words of wisdom: 

 

“Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficulties and fear assail your relationship, as they threaten all relationships at one time or another, remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong. In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives — remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there. And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.”

 

 

PART II: DECLARATIONS OF INTENT

 

Jonny, having considered the gift and gravity of the commitment of marriage, do you affirm your desire and intention to enter this covenant? 

 

JONNY: I do.

 

Jose, having considered the gift and gravity of the commitment of marriage, do you affirm your desire and intention to enter this covenant? 

 

JOSE: I do.

 

[To those gathered to witness] Will all you witnessing these vows do everything in your power to uphold Jose and Jonny in their marriage? If so, say "We do."

 

ALL GATHERED: We do.

 

 

PART III: MOMENT OF SILENCE

 

Jonny and Jose deeply appreciate having you all here with them today to share their joy and to celebrate their marriage. We would like to take a moment to remember those are not physically present yet connected in this circle of family and friends, and especially to honor those who have passed away but are here with us in spirit.

 

 

PART IV: THE PRINCE AND THE ROSE

 

Listen now to these words from the Hebrew Scriptures taken from the Song of Songs:  

 

“Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is strong as death, passion fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, a raging flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If one offered for love all the wealth of one’s house, it would be utterly scorned.”

 

Which was the ancient writers way of saying, even wild horses could not keep me away from you. Or to borrow the words from the musical, Hairspray, “You can’t stop the beat!”

 

And from my own tradition, we are told in the gospel narrative that Jesus’ first miracle took place at a wedding. That despite the best plans and intentions, the wine gave out. According to the story, Jesus had the servants fill huge stone jars with water, and when the liquid was drawn from the vessels it was turned to wine. And not just any wine, but really good stuff! The host exclaimed you have saved the best for last. 

 

I love that story, one, because it reminds us that (despite our prudish attempts at re-writing the record) the one called the Christ was known for bringing the booze to the party! And that he was the kind of guy who was often invited to such gigs. But more importantly, the narrative reminds us that even in the best of circumstances, sometimes the wine runs out.

 

Maybe for the two of you it will not be wine. Maybe it will be time… or patience… or passion or energy, or resources. It’s bound to happen. But on such occasions remember that it is not the end of the story. Remember this day, and what brought you to this place.

 

JJ, you are Jonny’s rose. Jonny, you are JJ’s prince.

 

In times of challenge, remember this gathering. Look around you… the love for you here on this rooftop cannot be contained. These people are here because they love you. They support you, They are cheering for you. They are inspired by you and have promised to be there for you. You are not alone. Because you are not alone, you will always find what you need. In those times when the wine runs out, may you also experience the wonder of how Life can transform ordinary elements into everything that you need. And may you find as your love grows through the years, that it gets better and better, and that Love itself is saving the best for last. 

 

 

PART V: THE CROWNING & THE SOLEMN VOWS

 

So, let us proceed. We gather under this Chuppah as a symbol of the household you now create together. May the canopy of love, and grace, and strength cover and protect you all your days.

 

[Officiate produces two flowered laurel crowns]

 

These crowns are for the two who share that home and the gifts they bring with them to each other.

 

[He places the crowns on JJ and Jonny's head]

 

Please join your hands over the candle.

 

[Officiate wraps a ribbon around the two joined hands. The two walk around the candle, switching sides]

 

JJ: I Jorge Jose affirm my love to you Jonathan McEwan as I invite you to share my life. You are the most beautiful, smart and generous person I have ever known and I promise you that I will respect you with kindness and trust forever.

 

[Still bound by their hands, JJ and Jonny rotate around the candle switching sides again.]

 

JONNY: Jorge Jose, I promise, more than anything in the world, to never let a day go by without reminding you how amazing you are. To never let there be a doubt — no matter whether we disagree or argue — that you are loved more than anything in the world. Because you are. And I do. So very much. Better that you think I say those three little powerful words to often than not enough. So, what the hell, here they are again. I love you.

 

[Again they rotate around the candle switching sides]

 

JJ: I promise that you will be the first priority in my life. I know that one day hopefully soon my family will finally accept the way of who I am and respect our marriage and love you as their son in law. I know that we can make this happen with the power of our love.

 

[Again around the candle.]

 

JONNY: I promise to listen more, to be patient. From the day I met you, you have always had a story to tell. And I know sometimes, when I'm tired or busy I can be impatient and forget how much you need to share, especially with me. It is an honor and a privilege that you want to share so much with me. I promise to listen more, and to help you discern between two photos which is the better when you ask. I know sometimes you are just looking for the connection, a little give and take amid the distractions of our busy lives. I promise to give more.

 

[Once more around the candle]

 

JJ: I knew since day one when I saw you thru the mirror how wonderful, how gorgeous gorgeous man you are, I promise you, I really promise you. I will smile for you every day as you ask. As I have known since the day I met you how much my smile will make you happy. I promise i'll smile to you every morning, or when you are cranky and bitchy i will smile to you just to make you happy.

 

[And again around the candle.]

 

JONNY: They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but there is another part of that saying that most people do not remember. The way to a woman's heart is through her mother. Let's just say you won my mother over in just 15 minutes. If she were here today, she would be so happy to see her "two sons," as she called us, finally legitimately becoming her two sons. I will never forget that when you were stuck in Venezuela, struggling to get your visa and settling in for a much longer stay than we had anticipated, I lost faith, and called my mother to complain. I told her I was through. I couldn't wait any longer for you, and she said, "Shush. He's a wonderful boy. Your father was gone in the military for over a year and I waited. A few months more? That's nothing." So you see. I promise to never forget that you, wonderful you, you are my mother's final parting gift to me. It was a wonderful gift. I promise I will cherish it forever and never forget that. Ever.

 

[JJ and Jonny rotate around the candle switching sides one last time. They are now on the opposite sides from which they started the ceremony.]

 

OFFICIATE: Repeat after me:

 

We have taken the Seven circuits. 

You have become mine forever. 

Yes, we have become partners. 

I have become yours.

Hereafter, I cannot live without you. 

Do not live without me. 

Let us share our joys. 

 

We are word and meaning, united. 

You are thought, and I am sound. 

May the night be honey-sweet for us. 

May the morning be honey-sweet for us. 

May the earth be honey-sweet for us. 

May the plants be honey-sweet for us. 

May the sun be all honey for us. 

 

As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled.

 

[Officiate produces a glass and a decanter of wine.]

 

Through the ages, covenants have often been sealed with a meal or a glass of wine. And as a symbol of this covenant that you make today, I invite you to drink from this shared glass.

 

[The wine is passed between JJ, Jonny, the Maid of Honor and the Best Man]

 

Do you have the rings?

 

[The rings are given to JJ and Jonny. Officiate gently removes their crowns.]

 

Repeat after me: I Jorge Jose Abouyoun Chabouk, take you, Jonathan, to be my husband, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish from this day forward until death do us part. 

 

[JJ places the ring on Jonny's finger. Officiate takes JJ's crown and places it on Jonny's head.]

 

Repeat after me: I Jonathan Perry McEwan, take you, Jorge Jose, to be my husband, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish from this day forward until death do us part. 

 

[Jonny places the ring on JJ's finger. Officiate takes Jonny's crown and places it on JJ's head.]

 

OFFICIATE:

 

Now you will feel no rain,

For each of you will be shelter to the other.

Now you will feel no cold,

For each of you will be warmth to the other.

Now there is no more loneliness,

For each of you will be companion to the other.

Now you are two bodies,

But there is only one life before you.

May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead 

and through all the years.

May happiness be your companion

and your days together be good and long upon the earth.

 

JJ and Jonny, you have shared your solemn vows and exchanged rings as a promise of your love. Now by the powers vested in me I pronounce that you are married. You may kiss one another. 

 

[The two grooms, now husbands, kiss.]

 

Ladies and gentlemen: May I introduce you to the Macks, JJ and Jonny.